spring time...without you...

I spent some time in the yard recently.  The weather is still trying to warm up.  Sunday was beautiful.  How can I help but think of you even more than I always do when I smell the fresh mowed air, see the wind rustling the trees, hear the birds chirping and swirling about.  My mind was overwhelmed with missing you and remembering that your 'would have been 16th' birthday is coming up.
  As I finished up, I noticed the rhubarb plants lined up neatly in a row...through blurry eyes I noticed how nice and lush they are this year...they were calling out to me to harvest some them so I can make you your favorite special mama dish...Rhubarb Cake!  I think I will make this for you on your birthday.  Everyone loves it with the exception of one older brother. 
For your birthday we are making Strawberry Shortcake Cupcakes from scratch for the kids at school.  This will also be for your sister's bday that was not celebrated there as she was with you in the hospital and your brother's bday which is in the summer anyway, so this treat will be made with love, brought on your special day and shared with everyone for the three of you siblings.  This makes mama happy!  Making home made goodies, for you, thinking of you, makes this mama very happy!


Here's a good picture of you out enjoying Spring weather last year on your birthday.  Sorry you still had to wear a mask. You were so close to taking off outside.  Sometimes I wish we had snuck it off more often.

We love and miss you so much and see you in everything around you...although your being gone stings...we find ourselves completely unbelieving that it is real...that you are not here...that you still won't just walk downstairs and say good morning...