Magnanimously homeschooling, worshiping, creating.......

Join us on a journey of faith, healing, learning to live with part of our hearts missing, and recovery, as our family rebuilds our lives, after our son's long battle with cancer....and his eventual rise on eagle's wings into Heaven...victory is his...he is serving the King!!!
Showing posts with label braveheart. Show all posts
Showing posts with label braveheart. Show all posts

Friday, January 2, 2015

2 years without you....



How can it be 2 years without you??
Our love for you is ever deep.
We miss you more than we could ever describe.
I have few words today...but that you are deeply missed our dear precious one.




We went to visit the bird watch memorial today with Grandma and took some pictures.

See you in Heaven my love!!

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

new earth toned comfy blanket story





Today, I am starting a new crochet project.....a journey, a story that I want to share with you. All three of you. LOL!!  I am calling it my 'new earth toned comfy blanket.  

I love looking back at what I have done in my past.  I looked at all of my crochet blogging, wondering if I posted them all on here over the years of my hit and miss blogging. Well, here they are!!

 (Due to the nature of this particular post, it is a looong one, sorry)

MY CROCHET FUN

This contains the crochet projects of my past.  Not all of them, of coarse. I have been crocheting well before the days of blogging about them. I remember dreading going to school because I wanted to stay home and crochet some more.

Then there is Braveheart. Oh, how I crocheted, while nurturing our son, especially after his transplant and his long stay at the hospital. I have fond memories of teaching many a med student how to crochet. I believe at least one gal is still crocheting to this day. It took me a long time after Braveheart went to Heaven before I could pick it up again. I 'knew' in my heart, it was ok, and I knew B would understand and even smile about it with pleasure if he were here, but it was a mental thing. So tangible, like it was just not right. How could I pick this up without him??? But...now I did. I am ready and at peace with it. Now, it is a good memory, like time spent with this dear one, missed so...ooooh, so much and each time I pick it up, I am spending a moment with him.

Crocheting always reminds me of our boy, as do birds. I love crocheting in my cozy little sitting room upstairs, with my feet up, the curtain open and all the little birds are chirping about. It is good.
 I took up crocheting during our many stays at the hospital. People donated their extra yarn they no longer wanted and I went to work making a 'crazy crochet blanket' for each child. I started with my oldest, knowing he was the first one nearing the 'leave the nest' stage of life. You can see those pictures from the posts above.


 For the 'crazy' project, I choose whichever colors I desired, to use for each blanket.  My second born and first born simply got a lovely mix of what looked good, since there were not many blues, (their favorite), but they still loved the earthy, guy colors.









  I knew, full well,  my third son, Ninja Boy, would desire a more red featured blanket, as it is his favorite color.



Then came my damsel, who received the girly, pink waves of candy like goodness.


                                      



 Then, there was the granny, crazy blanket....remember, all of this was the generous donations of people.






I, like many crocheters, love to have those 'easy, brainless' projects going. All of the above were simple single or double crochet stitiches. The kind that is relaxing, requires little thought, but exudes the pleasure of hooking stitches, getting all the benefits of creating something beautiful, while hanging with one's man or some similar endeavor. 


Now, like every winter, the fiber and crochet hooks call my name. This time, unlike times in the past, I will embark on a new idea..one that allowed me to pick out the very colors "I" like, by choice, completely, just for "ME"...for my taste, my earthy tone loving taste...oh, I am soooo excited!!

Now, here is my inspiration to whom I must give credit. Lucy at Attic 24. Although, I can safely say that I have likely been crocheting long before she ever picked it up, I found her blog back around the time B was first diagnosed, and so very much enjoyed her colorful, time consuming posts. It was always hit and miss with me, as I rarely have time to set and read blogs, but I tried a few fun projects that I likely would not have attempted without her inspiration. In addition, with all we were going through, I lost interest in crocheting for a bit and her blog, even if only once in a while. 
Well, I just so happen to check on her again, after a long absence and was please to see a new twist on a simple, brainless crochet blanket and I got all excited! I have never used so many colors, without it being a crazy blanket, of my own choosing, and this twist makes it a bit more interesting, although still easy. So, here's to a new twist on an old story for me. Thanks to Lucy and all the time she devoted to sharing it with me (us).  Wait until you see all of the color on her blog!!

Now, I will wet your appetite with pictures of the lovely colors that I have chosen. This blanket has been the most 'prep' I have ever done for a blanket. That is, thanks to Lucy. I will tell you more about that in my next post.

***THIS JUST IN....you and me and some of our friends, are joinging in, more locally, on this fun crochet story together, with the intention of working together in cyber fasion, sharing lots of good pictures and lots of fun awing and oowwing over all the fiber goodness. Do not be overwhelmed by Lucy's blog, I will show you what to do here as an America version. There are lots of choices.



You see, I love purples and I love earth tones...very much. I am very happy with this grouping of colors.
I hope to put better pictures here tomorrow.






So, for me, I decided NOT to order the yarn from the wool shop in England. (on Lucy's blog) I might someday, but this time I decided to go to my local craft store, where they had a lovely, set of acrylic yarn, on sale, very soft, with a large variety of juicy, good colors to choose from. These balls of yarn are twice the size needed in Lucy's pattern, but I knew I would use them anyway, plus, I am going to make a larger blanket than twin size.
As much as I would love to use a natural, wool fiber, it was not cost effective for me at this time, for this project. There are very lovely synthetic yarns out there nowadays.
So, be sure to go pick out your favorite colors, or use up your stash, or use less colors if you like, ok?
Stay tuned for more from this journey and encouragment on this project.

Thursday, May 22, 2014

memorial garden bird feeder


The very next day after we built the patio, the Man wanted to go get a new bird feeder for our Braveheart Memorial Garden. We love it. Here is my first White Breasted Nuthatch at the feeder. It didn't take them long to feel at ease coming to the new feeder. We are so thankful for these birds that remind us of our boy and his love of them.

Monday, May 19, 2014

the bravest little memorial garden

Braveheart's Memorial Garden

Last summer, I came up with a fabulous idea for a memorial garden to honor our dearly missed brave boy. I drew out some rough plans, which included removing tons of rock from its location outside of our back door. It was hot, humid and we were all still so mentally and emotionally exhausted from our loss, that it wasn't long before we realized we would be unable to finish the project this year. 

I resisted discouragement. Good friends pledged that they would come down in the Spring and help us to get it done. Well, we finally did it! That day was Saturday! We are not done, but the hardest part, the laying of the patio, has been accomplished by the work, sweat and love poured out by those of us that loved our boy....some dear family friends. 12 hours! I know we could not have accomplished this without them.
We are feeling so blessed right now. My hubs had to run out and get a new bird house that fit into our plan right away. Braveheart LOVED birds, as I am sure you already have heard. What a blessing this is for our family!
Here is some of the pictures from the project. My mother is going to help me with planning and planting the flowers and edging. I can't wait to get to that.


2013
This area has not had much attention of the last few years. We've been a little busy. 


May 2014
 The guys are starting to dig in. It's a big job.


Loading up the truck with the old rocks.


Hi Sweetie! 
Thanks for working so hard. 
We woman kept the guys watered, fed them with delicious, energy sustaining food, and  ran errands as needed.


The hardest part is done. Now we beautify it in memory of our sweet boy. 
I will update again as we make progress.

So thankful and excited for this project.




Wednesday, January 2, 2013

we will miss you with aching hearts until we see you in heaven

Our precious...precious boy is with Jesus..............

Thursday, October 11, 2012

relapse....again??? Really?

What the heck?? That was my first thought. Really, after all he's already been through?  Although this relapse is not what we hoped for our precious son, God has really opened and closed doors through all of this since we found out.  That has really helped us with our decision making related to what to do for him, when there is little choices for this type of relapse with his type of cancer.  Wow, that is hard to take, couple that with most everything being out due to his kidney disease, but oddly, this has helped us in some ways and we feel God telling us what to do through this off and on.
So, about a month ago, our son was really getting his counts back, got his mask off, was starting school, feeling better than ever..FINALLY!! and then, wammo...RELAPSE..what a shock..a sad shock..

We haven't said much, needing to pray and absorb.  We were coming into clinic to get IVIG and figure out what we were going to do when more doors were closed or opened as we have prayed, one being that he came down with C-diff infection again which snuck up on us and made him very sick, so we had to be admitted for that, then the blast (cancer in the bone marrow) started spilling out into his blood, which was a progression marker that we needed to get moving if we wanted to do something.  We could stop there and things would be over soon, but Braveheart is well otherwise and we all decided after a big church/ community prayer session, to go forward with a kidney friendly plan that was presented.

 God told us before the diagnoses to 'stand our ground', He sent us a message and we are standing our ground, hoping in Him, praying, trusting, believing, warring...

Chemo plan has started, CMVviral infection has popped up, but he is hanging in there...blasts are gone when they don't usually expect that with this type of relapse.  We are so grateful.


Tuesday, May 8, 2012

planting started

I started planting in the garden.  It was great! My man put up a little fence to keep the bunnies away from my new little greens.  I moved my blueberry bush to a new, better spot.

Weight day tomorrow.  I am excited!  Will let you know how it's going.  Today I ate:

Budwig cottage cheese for breakfast, 4+ cups of fresh veggie juice, hamburger, steamed cabbage, a few sweet potato fries.

Dessert: One little piece of dark chocolate with a spread of natural peanut butter.

Someone's birthday is tomorrow!!

#15

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

the simple things

I haven't thought that much about getting out of the shower..so to speak..but I had to share a strange joy I felt last night after Bryce finished his bath.  He has had a pretty good week, considering.  Along with daily battles on this road, just to see him leave the bathroom with his jammies on, his hair looking long and sweet and curlie, his cheeks squeaky clean and chuncky from the steroids..but he had the biggest smile...he looked so clean, bright and handsome...I am rejoicing in this precious moment in the hall, talking, laughing with him and touching his sweet, soft hair.  Soooo very thankful....

Monday, December 19, 2011

DAY 100!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, this is DAY 100 post transplant!  This is, by no means, the end of his journey nor is BRAVEHEART completely out of the woods yet, but this is a huge milestone in progress.  
Thank you Jesus!!!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

discharge?

Today is Day 67.  Discharge is within our grasp.  Now we are waiting for his blood pressure to calm down.  If today is Tuesday then we have gone home to a condo of a friend.  It was weird as we wheeled our son out looking over the walkway out over all the construction. Life going on as usual. We have been here for right short of 11 weeks!  It becomes part of you.  Daddy is with us, this makes it all so much better. Now I will squeeze my other kids soon. Braveheart has been brave..so brave..God has answered so many prayers...thank you Jesus!!

Sunday, June 19, 2011

braveheart and father's day

I can't believe how many things Braveheart is planning. He had a full weekend between naps of museums, walks by the river, airshow and shopping to name the major events this weekend. He really doesn't have an immune system though, so he has a mask to take along and we have some tricks for knowing how far he can go and what he can do. He was denied a few things. It was a good Father's Day!

Saturday, June 18, 2011

scout bonfire complete

I have never seen Braveheart do so many things while on more than a maintenance chemo before. I am astounded! He loves making lots of plans to go places and food is always on the agenda with his food cravings from the medicine. Last night the scouts were over for a bonfire. We had beautiful weather all week up until this day. Then the rain was supposed to come and the Lord held it off the whole night. B had to wear a mask due to his counts being so low. If he were to get a fungus from the wood it could be deadly for him. We had such a great night. Blessings.

Friday, June 17, 2011

in the night

I love those moments when a child awakes in the night and sits by your side. I love to rub his back. Then he falls sideways down next to you and fits perfectly nested there. He tells of signs of feeling better and his oh so soft thinning hair is the best thing I have ever felt beneath my light fingers as the moon is shining full into the room and the breeze from the fan makes for a perfect night. Pleasant sleeping sounds from my honey on my left complete the moment. Thank you Lord. Thank you in the night.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

we will not be moved....

here we are at the hosptial....so much to say and yet so little to tell.... we had been on a crazy journey fighting to save our child's life from this aweful disease known as cancer...i hate that word...i hate what it does to us and our family and yet i do really see blessings..i see how god works and how he leads and plans and we have gone on what we thought was a journey he orchestrated and yet here we are back to bone marrow transplant again...i am amazed how we came to be in the hospital and all that god has done so far and how he is getting all the glory people...all of it and HE IS A GOD OF IMPOSSIBILITIES!!!

this is what we have to do now...i am not afraid any more and i know we have done what we were told and all we have done will lead to what b will have needed..

the people here are so good and kind and helpful and ready to regear for this dreaded transplant...the one with the bad odds....
but i will not back down...we will not be moved.....like the song says...

My brokenness helped me to see
It’s grace I’m standing on

Chorus
I will stumble I will fall down
But I will not be moved
I will make mistakes I will face heartache
But I will not be moved
On Christ the Solid Rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
I will not be moved

And the chaos in my life
Has been a badge I’ve worn
Though I have been torn
I will not be moved





Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Happy Birthday Braveheart and waiting...


I still haven't figured out what to do with this picture problem and none of you are telling me so...I am going to try to print some pics from Picasa and delete them and see if that works.
We are just waiting and standing in faith with God for healing of our boy. He has led us to some treatments that are not the usual coarse, so we can avoid this very dangerous BMT. (bone marrow transplant) Braveheart is doing great. We are believing God for his healing and take every day one moment at at a time. Never have things been so intense around here as we take our stand. We are so thankful for your prayers.
Praise Jesus!!
I actually forgot to post that it was B's birthday #14 back on the 9th and how did this photo load?? So blessed to have another birthday!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

healthy ice cream anyone???


Braveheart has been doing so well. We have him on a pretty strict, immune system healing diet right now. That chemo can really destroy ones immune system. Although I did this after his end of treatment, I obviously was not aggressive enough and his illness returned. That 'cancer' (I hate saying that word, it feels like I am giving it power and I don't want to), is really annoying and prowls about like a lion waiting to devour...yes, did you recognize that from the bible? That is what cancer is to me. I am rambling aren't I?
Well, he has been begging for ice cream. Can you imagine giving up all processed white sugar foods? Due to my boy being so diligent, I told him I would make him some 'healthy ice cream" when we got his next test back and it showed more improvement. IT DID!! So I made this ice cream following a recipe that came with my little, cheap, Aldi purchased ice cream maker that you just plug in. I used organic cream, almond milk, organic milk, dash of organic vanilla and honey! Yes, honey, local from a high school fellow homeschooler. Local raw honey is the best kind to get. It actually has anti tumor properties...can you believe it? Now we still wouldn't want to load up on it, but it is a good substitute for all sugar things I USED to make for him. Oh have I been making things for him. I can't wait to share more with you.
Here is the only picture I got unfortunately. I usually take it out of the maker and freeze it a little longer in the freezer. I have a real awesome kitchen dream for someday if I ever get on one of those free kitchen shows!!

Saturday, December 11, 2010

it's saturday in the hospital...

day 4 chemo is complete. i can feel all the prayers as people lift us up in His name!!! today was a very good day. i was able to feel the arms of my strong husband around me. i feel stronger, like i can do this with His help...i may be crying tomorrow, but for today i feel peace that flows like a river....

Friday, December 3, 2010

sad news today...

We learned today that the 'beast' has returned. My heart is moaning, hurting, numb. I thought, no, truly believed that he was healed!! Inside I am a little angry too, but there is no real time to feel any of it fully. Just can't. Just tired. But B just amazes me. He says the most mature things. He handled the news with all grace ... So very brave. His only hope now is a transplant. I cannot think..I am in shock...

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

doing ok...

this one is off at college now, attending his second day of classes...he seems to be doing ok..
here he is probably thinking excitedly about this being the last burning job he has to do for awhile...:)

We are starting to miss you......


This boy is inheriting the major part of mowing of the yard...'mom, can I make a checkers pattern in the grass?' sure...why not.....

hopping...hopping...bouncing....



look at this fella...he is 3 months out from his last chemo...look what he can do now!



It is such a good, simple, wonderful pleasure to see him out here, staying out here, hangin' with the sibs...having energy...feeling better, thinking better...getting some real school work done this year so far...


We are so thankful. If you could please pray, we have CT scans this week. I am feeling fine really. Sometimes I feel a little nervous. I felt sure that God told me He had real plans to heal this boy...I have trusted and rested in this...but there are times when a test to look inside makes me cringe a little. Other times cancer is just a word to me. It means nothing at all, not scary like it seems to be out there...selfishly, I think to myself..'I don't know if I can do this again' I don't know if B can do this again..but then I just look up and ask God to keep carrying me..He is in control...He always does...He is so good...
ya see..He loves us...

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Why MAGNANIMOUS?

Noah Webster's 1828 Dictionary of the American Language defines Magnanimity as such:
MAGNANIM'ITY, n. [L. magnanimitas; magnus, great, and animus, mind.] Greatness of mind; that elevation or dignity of soul, which encounters danger and trouble with tranquillity and firmness, which raises the possessor above revenge, and makes him delight in acts of benevolence, which makes him disdain injustice and meanness, and prompts him to sacrifice personal ease, interest and safety for the accomplishment of useful and noble objects.