It's been six weeks now, since I have wrapped my arms around you, snuggled next to you and played footsie or watched your bright smile. I remember this so clearly, even on your very last day here with us. I didn't realize I would have so many, many tears to shed, yet they continue to come...more so this last week...
They said these harder days would come. We already talked about the waves, but now they are more spread out, lasting longer, still ebbing and flowing but all too ready to crash in on me when I least expect it. Last week was a such a 'good' week if it can ever be called that. It gave me a taste of what better days ahead may look like.
It still seems like he should be here, just in the other room...oh how my mommy heart is breaking today...how it continues to ache more than I can articulate. I think it doesn't help that I and my girl have been very ill, which keeps me less busy while we rest to recover....we are recovering but we would so appreciate your prayers for my sweet girl to heal up quickly, it's been a week now...it has hit her hard.
Oh....how she comforts me so sweetly....what a heart she has. You see, I try to allow my grief to be normal in front of the kids, without letting it become the ruling force of my parenting them, but my girl has been home ill with me while I am ill and hormonal and so she has heard and seen my tears more than usual. She always caresses me and encourages me. Love her so much. She thanks me for being here with her while she is ill. I am in the right place. I am glad to be alive, to be here with her and her brothers. I know that there will be better days ahead. We cling to our Savior. We need your prayers.
My friend Melissa shared a wonderful memory about our Braveheart today that melted my heart
and many others of you have shared some, please feel free to leave me
memories of him...if you feel lead to do so...it is part of our
grieving....brings us great joy...
I thank you for all your prayers
and support as we go through this process, we are allowing ourselves to
grieve and it takes time...I am sure it will take the rest of our lives...thank
you dear friends of Braveheart...he was our cuddle bug...
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