Magnanimously homeschooling, worshiping, creating.......

Join us on a journey of faith, healing, learning to live with part of our hearts missing, and recovery, as our family rebuilds our lives, after our son's long battle with cancer....and his eventual rise on eagle's wings into Heaven...victory is his...he is serving the King!!!

Thursday, February 14, 2013

6 weeks worth of tears...

It's been six weeks now, since I have wrapped my arms around you, snuggled next to you and played footsie or watched your bright smile. I remember this so clearly, even on your very last day here with us.  I didn't realize I would have so many, many tears to shed, yet they continue to come...more so this last week...
They said these harder days would come. We already talked about the waves, but now they are more spread out, lasting longer, still ebbing and flowing but all too ready to crash in on me when I least expect it. Last week was a such a 'good' week if it can ever be called that.  It gave me a taste of what better days ahead may look like. 
  It still seems like he should be here, just in the other room...oh how my mommy heart is breaking today...how it continues to ache more than I can articulate.  I think it doesn't help that I and my girl have been very ill, which keeps me less busy while we rest to recover....we are recovering but we would so appreciate your prayers for my sweet girl to heal up quickly, it's been a week now...it has hit her hard.
Oh....how she comforts me so sweetly....what a heart she has.  You see, I try to allow my grief to be normal in front of the kids, without letting it become the ruling force of my parenting them, but my girl has been home ill with me while I am ill and hormonal and so she has heard and seen my tears more than usual.  She always caresses me and encourages me.  Love her so much.  She thanks me for being here with her while she is ill.  I am in the right place.  I am glad to be alive, to be here with her and her brothers.   I know that there will be better days ahead.  We cling to our Savior.  We need your prayers. 

My friend Melissa shared a wonderful memory about our Braveheart today that melted my heart and many others of you have shared some, please feel free to leave me memories of him...if you feel lead to do so...it is part of our grieving....brings us great joy...

I thank you for all your prayers and support as we go through this process, we are allowing ourselves to grieve and it takes time...I am sure it will take the rest of our lives...thank you dear friends of Braveheart...he was our cuddle bug...
 
 
 

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Why MAGNANIMOUS?

Noah Webster's 1828 Dictionary of the American Language defines Magnanimity as such:
MAGNANIM'ITY, n. [L. magnanimitas; magnus, great, and animus, mind.] Greatness of mind; that elevation or dignity of soul, which encounters danger and trouble with tranquillity and firmness, which raises the possessor above revenge, and makes him delight in acts of benevolence, which makes him disdain injustice and meanness, and prompts him to sacrifice personal ease, interest and safety for the accomplishment of useful and noble objects.