Merry Christmas..I have so much I want to write but I won't get it all down. I thought 2008 was going to be the worst Christmas of my life with my bald little precious boy home after a near death, devastating trip to the hospital for a horrible chemo drug! Man I know these kids get hit hard, but because they are young they manage to survive at an amazing rate, although not really enough. One moment I was re-evaluating our next homeschool year and getting things in order, the next I am in a fight for my boys life..AGAIN! Now all the thoughts about doing so many mundane things in life seem so pointless. My focus so changed. Sometimes I see pictures of families and for the first time in my life it makes me wish I could just be there in that world where all the kids are healthy. So much is happening. Since the relapse, I am trusting God more everyday, pleading and thanking Him for healing and guidance. We live every moment with that little deep flutter of anxiety deep inside our gut. Our child's life is in our hands!! Well, we know he is in the Father's hands, but we are the stewards here on earth. We are feeling little tugs of direction. Sometimes that direction is hard to follow, like if you are being asked to walk through a cave full of vicious lions, unsure of what even awaits you/your child on the other side.
Emotions come and go like a roller coaster. Before we were excited to be done and now we are looking forward to more/ worse of the same with no same hope as before. We haven't given up mind you!! Often God fills us with hope between moments of despair.
22And Jesus answered saying to them, "Have faith in God.
23"Truly I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be taken up and cast into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says is going to happen, it will be granted him.
24"Therefore I say to you, all things for which you pray and ask, believe that you have received them, and they will be granted you.
I am hopeful even now and ask that you pray with me from Mark 11:23, 24
Merry Christmas from our family and may you just love up on those kids a little more today and always, what a gift our children are from God.
1 comment:
my heart is just aching for you all. may God grant you comfort and peace in the midst of this storm and answer your prayers pleas with healing.
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