Day 1: elimination diet

So we have been missing our dear boy for over 7 months now. It just doesn't seem real.  I get so busy taking care of my other littles that even though I think of him every moment of the day, how can I not, he is still here in everything he left behind, I do sometimes forget to have a really good cry.  Preparing my oldest left at home's school binder had me sifting through B's binder from last year and I was all alone and so I just couldn't stop crying forever!! He always encouraged me to eat healthy and exercise.

Now with Damsel having thyroiditis that quickly turned into Hypothyroidism, I must be motivated to make a change here. We are all stressed and ill after these last 41/2 yrs and especially after the stress of losing one most precious to us.
My research has taken me to 'the plan' by Lyn Genet.  Some of you may of heard of her from the Dr. Oz, I don't watch regular TV but someone told me about this book so I have been researching and our whole family is going to start the Plan.
It is a 20 day elimination diet, using your body's wt and signs as a indicator of your 'trigger foods.  The children will start on Day 4 and will journal any changes so that they will not be taught to 'focus' on wt plus it doesn't help a youngy yet at their age.
Yes, I am going to try it with the kids.....they aren't looking forward to it but they are very willing...this is my chance to do this all at once and see if we can find out what is triggering things in each of us.  I have already stopped wheat for myself and I find that I went from 1-6 Ibuprofen a day to just a few a week!!! Seriously!

What do we need help with you might be wondering?

Me: I am fat, cannot get the wt off, tired, achy, low energy.....headaches, low concentration..I could go on. I guess I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia years back but who knows.

Damsel:  She has an auto-immune disease!! Seriously??  I want to try to see if there is something setting this off...they don't know much about this medically nor is there any treatment.

Ninja: He is pretty good except he has severe acne and  major bouts of IBS, also he does have an attitude sometimes but then he is a teenage boy...

The Man:  Well, he is perfect...he wasn't even breastfed...haaa...perfect teeth...he can eat any food and it doesn't seem to bother him, he has general energy but not over an abundance of it..well he did have bad eyes but that was corrected with lasic.. ok so he is over weight and has a chronic back pain, that I hope will be alleviated...I love him...we will see how it goes...much of this food will be slightly challenging for him to eat..carrot ginger soup pureed?? oh boy

Ok, so keep up with me here and I will try to keep you informed on how we are doing.

I am going to go take a pic and get the flax granola out of the oven...hope the man can eat it...

YIKES!  I can't believe how fat I have become!!

I wish I could find a better picture of me when I was skinnier but here something at least from 2009.

art museum and exhaustion

Daddy is home today and off early yesterday. We were able to just spend time together. I wish I could figure out how to get pics off my iphone onto here. Someday I will figure it out. It won't even let me upload from Facebook...arggg....
A trip to the art museum.  Free ice cream scoops melting.  Leisurely walks by the River with cool breezes.   Watching the Littles at Karate, taking in the smoothness of their movements, the increased confidence in a Ninja boy as his increased lankiness defends his core.  Such a delight.  Such a a sadness with our little family of 4 now.  Tears coming as I watch that sweet video of our missing heart.  So thankful for these two left to us. Thank you Lord.
The garden has been good and not good.  Now the corn must boil on the cob and the steak grilled just right.....resting after being so easily exhausted.

summer changes

This summer is going way to fast!  We miss our dear boy every single day, but our days do go on.  It just is. We have school starting on August 12th for Ninja and August 26th for Damsel.  Oh how I wish I were planning school for Braveheart!!
After much prayer and consideration and an already solid adoration for Classical Conversations, we are going to home school both of the kids full time.  Saying this, one must know that it is harder for me lately with all we've been through, however, Damsel did a great job last year. We were in Essentials and did the Foundations work at home.  She took math at Ninja's school. Our day was choppy with all the driving, so I am looking forward to that being done. Also, my Ninja is very hard to home school. It's just true. They all have different personalities right?  That being said, after much progress with his two subjects at home, I believe we can do this. God will help us and we are keeping much of our 'busy-ness' to a minimum while we adjust to a new way of doing things for him.

Now, with such a busy summer, I am wishing for some quiet days at home while I get some planning done. I am also trying to adjust my lifestyle and diet. After losing 40 pounds last year with the help of juicing, then gaining most of it back and then feeling so sick....catching things (due to stress, I know) and the chonic issues I have with my bad knee and feet, chronic tiredness, and many other symptoms, then finding out my daughter has Thyroiditis....I know I need to find out what is going on and fix it. So, we are all making changes and I am reading some great books to add to my arsenal of changes.
My first plan is to prepare for and follow through with an elimination diet. Something I am doing is making me sick and me and my dtr have some kind of inflammation issues.  I will not just watch her and wait until she might need pills.
More on that later. Pray for me. Miss you always Braveheart!!!!

caddy for a cure

Caddy for a Cure came to the Classic.  There were 5 of us moms whom have lost a beloved child.  All boys so far from this particular group.  On the last hole we carried the putter with all the kid's name of it and their ribbon with it's coordinating color.  Two mamas were interviewed and we were all in the news.  Precious honor for the boys.

Well, I can't count...

Ok, now it has been 6 months..how did I miss count that?  It already feels like forever, why was I so mistaken?  It doesn't matter because it doesn't change the fact that I still can't get my hands on my sweet second born child.  I wish I could better express here some of the many thoughts that fly in and out of my brain when it comes to my sweet boy.  My companion through thick and thin.
I am thankful for all the clues God left in His book to help us to know about Heaven, so until I get to visit him there one day, I will just smile when I think of his joy there.
Love you my son.

further up and further in.....

Spoiler Alert...end of THE LAST BATTLE of the Narnia Series.....

"The dream has ended: this is the morning. As He spoke He no longer looked to them like a lion; but the things that began to happen after that were so great and so beautiful that I cannot write them. And for us, this is the end of all the stories and we can most truly say that they all lived happily ever after. But for them it was only the beginning of the REAL STORY. All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on forever: in which every chapter is better than the one before.” 
Amen to that. We miss you Brave boy and we will see you again soon, in the blink of an eye.................

You may not quite understand how significant this is for me but God gives me little bits of hope throughout my days...encouragements you know...
The two littles and I went to a practicum for Classical Conversations; three days of encouragement.  I am more fired up about our upcoming homeschool year than I was before I went and that was pretty fired up. Indecisive about a few details, but fired up... 
We had been listening to this whole series on Narnia in the van over the last month or so. Such a great series.  Braveheart loved this series.  Daddy read the whole series to the kids when they were little. Damsel doesn't even remember this, she was so young.  Then Brave boy would listen often as he grew up or while recovering from chemo in the earlier years of his treatment.  It was like a healing, memory, honoring thing to do with our boy/ brother in mind. Loved it.  So right at the end of our 3 days on the way home we finished and my heart was soaring.....he has begun Chapter One of the Great Story..the best story ever to come!! Can't wait to join him one day.
It just made my broken heart have some bits of joy surging through it.

Love him...

Miss him so much...

6 months...you have been gone

June 2 marks 6 months since we have had our dear sweet Brave boy with us here on earth. This time last year he was feeling pretty good while enjoying a ride in the Med Vac, celebrating his Grandma's wedding a couple weeks before that and his older brother's birthday June 1st. Oh how each memory from last year is seared into my mind. How can it have been 6 months now? How can I not have hugged you good night, prayed with you or spoke some wonderful words with you my love...?
We love and miss you so much dear one....
We thank all of you that continue to pray for us, please don't stop....