more posting

Hello friends. How has your healing, healthy lifestyle been going? I am going to try to get back in the groove of regular blogging reports, but time is something I don't have much of, but I love to write, however bad I am at it.  
It was a long hard Christmas without our dear B.  Things are still hard, never to be the same but there is a certain amount less of the 'pressure' of it now that school is back in full swing and Christmas is past. I can focus my mind on other things, sort of. Even though B is always on my mind, I am able to focus on my children left to me here....it helps....I cannot express the depth of missing him...longing to hold him...

I have spent time eating all of my 'healing' foods, following what I have learned from my elimination, with the exception of sugar.....I made plenty of sugar desserts over the last couple months, starting with Christmas festivities.  
I tried to bring some kind of norm into our first Christmas without a part of our family...it was hard. God gave me strength to do what is right for my other children. So, my health came to a maintenance level, in regards to weight and I am beginning to feel a bit of that sugar. I am happy at this weight, for now, but will not stay here forever.  That's ok, there is a place for this. I want to change my lifestyle to one I can live with, not one where I am constantly deprived. There is, however, a time for deprivation.
I am regrouping for renewed tightening of the belt as it were..soon, a cleansing will begin. I am gearing up...

Enjoy some beautiful birds that visit us all winter. Did you know that B loved birds? We have been so blessed to receive some fabulous large collections of birds at our humble home. We don't believe that B is a bird, but we feel these birds are a little gift from His mighty hand, to remind us that our boy is safe, happy and healthy...it brings us joy!

1 year in Heaven

I know I am late....I should have done this on the 2nd but I communicate more on facebook when it comes to all the milestones of our Braveheart being in Heaven.  Christmas was hard....good, because we have such a wonderful family still left here on earth, but unbelievably hard...I guess it was an added weight due to the fact that it was Christmas and that his year anniversary was coming and now has went....  I must admit that I was not in the spirit as we once were during our favorite holiday.  I usually blast the home with Christmas songs and bake and this year I just couldn't play it as often.  My daughter turned it on the most and that was ok, but most of them made me sad and reminded me of Braveheart.  I think the kids may have felt a small difference but not in the way of neglecting them or anything of that nature.
It felt much like the first year was a hazing blur of tears and numbness just like they say....keeping busy taking care of the other kiddos. It felt like God put these protective walls up so that we couldn't swallow it all at once..because if we did, we would just die....
Lately, I have felt as if the walls have slowly began to come down, as if God is allowing us to process more and more of the truth and pain of it.  I have to live the rest of my life on this earth without my precious boy!!!
Something that makes us happy is knowing he is truly in Heaven with Jesus and has no tears and we still have these amazing kids here on earth, and me and the hubs, well, we have each other, which is a huge blessing. And of coarse, we have Jesus, which makes it all worth while, which gives us the hope that we will see our boy again one day.

We love and miss you so much son.  See you in Heaven one day, then our hearts will be ok again....

still going strong

I am checking in here. I have so many wonderful things to share with you that I have been doing with my diet, meals, fun things I have been making. I just have't had time to share them all.  I will try to share them soon though.
I have now lost a total of 15 lbs from the start of my elimination diet. So much of it lost at the beginning but very slowly after as I was testing foods and would have 'off' days etc. I feel like my body has done lots of healing over this last couple months. Total wt from when I began last summer in 2012 is 28 lbs. I feel so much better these days.
I am missing my sweet boy so much. He has been gone 10 months now as of the 2nd of November. It is still hard for me to wrap my brain around it. Imagine how much of the 'things' around you, are connected to your child.  If I take a bath, I know that he bathed here.  If I use soap, I know that I still have the leftover part of a natural bar of soap that he used. I don't want to throw it out!  His toothbrush is still in our drawer. How can I ever take that out?  Oh, how my heart longs for him, to hold and squeeze him. Oh, how I need to get around others that have been through this, it's been awhile, time to regroup.
We lost our Hospice counselor whom knew us so well.  We found another one that is a Christian and we really like him but this one isn't free if you know what I mean.  It is good to meet with him, we need it and have noticed that we hadn't for a while.
I went out and had some fun trying to take pics of the kiddos myself for this school year. I think it went quite well.

Here is our precious boy in 2011, getting family pics before he heads in for his transplant.  So strong a memory in my mind.

Just he and mom and dad. 

Here he is just foolin' around.  Man I miss him.

He is the last, or third boy.  

My last child, darling girl.

My oldest son has moved out so we don't get to take many pics like this any more. Someday I hope to be able to get some again.  

lower wt, the plan

I finally hit a good lowest milestone this week.  I did lots of cleaning on Sunday and while I was at it I made chicken broth out of my leftover chicken bones.  I drank a pint of this as my meal for the afternoon and after taking a sitz bath with Epsom salts, I felt very refreshed and cleansed.  I haven't really done that in awhile and I am glad I did.  I think I really needed that. They say when you lose wt. you are releasing the toxins that are stored in your fat cells.
Other changes I have implemented is starting a short Pilates schedule.  Schedule is not the right word, just doing 10 minutes of it a few times a week in addition to the band arm exercises I do almost every night.  I can tell that little bit is quite toning.  I have to be wise about my use of exercise due to my adrenal fatigue.  As I have begun to heal, I have been able to add these in slowly. Over the summer I would work in the garden for 20 min or clean the house or go for a 10 minute bike ride and I would be totally wiped for the rest of the day and barely be able to make it up the steps to my bedroom!
The broth was an idea that was started by my research into the GAPS diet which I am looking into for use with my son in the near future.  He has IBS. He has had it since I can remember and now it has been more of an acute issue for him.  Yes, I do believe it is likely a stress reaction to the loss of his brother as to why it is so acute this year.
My research has me thinking that he needs to have his gut healed and this seems to be the best way to do that.  Even the elimination diet would help but it is so much harder to gauge in a young person, so with the GAPS, he can follow a very specific plan that will actually heal the gut and even allow him to eat foods that bothered him before.  This is no small task and may be taken on by all of us as we all will likely benefit from it, so I must take my time in it's implementation. Plus, he is 14, so I need to help him be full on board!
If you have an issue with allergies, ADHD, autism and more....this is something you want to look into.

the plan update..oat meal

For those of you that are keeping up on my elimination lifestyle change, I tested oatmeal on Thursday morning and was so excited to wake up and find that I was down .8.  I thought I was up at first, but no, I was down....85% of people find oatmeal to be a trigger food, so this is very good news for me, but not so great when we know it bothers two of my children, so bulk items with oatmeal may not work.  Also, different versions of oatmeal are still tests, although now it is more likely that I will pass it.

 I also got down to my lowest wt. so far. I have been feeling great.

I am looking into the GAPS diet to help heal my son's IBS.  I will post more on that later but it is specific to healing the gut which we know he has huge issues with. What is the connection between acne and ones gut. We know health starts in the gut. Yikes.

I am really loving Pinterest for keeping track of all these great and healthy recipes.

apple pear crisp, home made blender whip cream, twister jar

I am using a recipe from Ellana Amsterdam's cook book. I created an apple pear crisp, based on her apple crisp recipe.  We are NOT paleo people, but paleo recipes often work for our needs that we have for our meals.(this is what will allow us to change this up a bit too)   I ordered a huge lot of organic apples which turned out to be just $1+ per pound and apples have been a huge part of our meals lately.  This is the right thing to do as it is in season which is always a great way to eat anything.

I have been looking for alternative crisp topping recipes and will continue to do so, because this family cannot have wheat now that through my elimination testing, it is a trigger food for me and therefore assumed to be for my autoimmune daughter since children often follow our lead on these things.  I am testing her as well but it is harder to tell with a young person as their bodies are so resilient while having issues, but since all the research I have done has pointed to no gluten, then we are just going for it in the hopes of helping her body heal and to prevent any further issues.  We have noticed some of her symptoms improving overall. We also cannot have oats due to my boy being reactive to this. Blah!!!

Mmmmm....fresh out of the oven.  Smells great!  

General Recipe: (not giving exact since it is from her book)

apples of choice, I cut around core and did not peel

apple juice

lemon juice

salt

cinnamon

nutmeg

arrowroot

Topping:

almond flour

grapeseed oil

agava nector

vanilla

salt

baked for 45 mins then another 10 to crisp up the topping

Home made whip cream:

I pretty much never buy whip cream anymore, I simply buy cream from Aldi, the best price, I am not really able to get organic often.  

I use my Twister Jar blender which can make powdered sugar, isn't that cool?

I add my choice of sugar, natural something, then zoom that in my blender until powdery, then

I add a dash of vanilla and a pint of cream

put my Blendtec on 4 and in about 30+ seconds I have a finished product all ready to plop on all my treats!

YUM!

Verdict:

This crisp was very good but the topping did not crisp up enough for us and it was a bit bland, likely because there was no butter...so we will be using butter, coconut oil or both in the next batch, that should give us that extra edge we are looking for.

It was gone that night and I was thinking how much my little Braveheart would have loved eating this. 

9 months in Heaven~~~~~

Lamentations 3:21-22

King James Version (KJV)

21 This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope.
22 It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.


We miss you our beloved and we can't wait to see you again!