Magnanimously homeschooling, worshiping, creating.......

Join us on a journey of faith, healing, learning to live with part of our hearts missing, and recovery, as our family rebuilds our lives, after our son's long battle with cancer....and his eventual rise on eagle's wings into Heaven...victory is his...he is serving the King!!!

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

the flu and a doctor visit

Me, the Man and Damsel all got the flu last week.  It was a doozer.  We had our sox knocked off badly.  So far, the oldest and Secret Agent are free from said flu.  So happy. 
Sometimes when I get it in my lungs I just need an inhaler to help out, but usually manage quite nicely without an antibiotic.  I try not to take one unless I truly need it.  I can't even remember when I have ever had one..it's been years.  When they try to give my healthy kids/ hubs one prophylacticly I usually substitute it with something natural and it works like a charm.  I wish I had something like that to cure children's cancer..oh how I wish.
It was a decent, quite trip to the doctor.  We switched to her from our old doc back in 2010, we went for a 'well check' to establish ourselves.  I wanted a doc that would see us in the hospital as well, but as I visited, I found out that is gone now too and likely will be the case for all of soon enough.  I remember discussing in some way or another, my son's fight with cancer, back then.
  Fast forward to last week.  The wait was not long in the waiting room, the nurse was nice enough, the Doctor was kind, even though I sat in the room for quite some time.  My case was easy.  She asked me about my symptoms...she assessed my lungs and my heart, my lymph glands.  She was friendly enough. 
I have to admit, I wondered, does she know? Does she know that my heart is broken?  Does she know about my precious boy?  Should I tell her?  Would she even care?  I thought, how do I bring it up? I am only here for my lungs.  I thought if she asks me how I am or how my son is, then I will tell her....
Nothing...
She read my file on her computer...was it there? Our discussion the last time I was here?  Did she wonder why I was away for nearly 2 1/2 years?  How I have been in this time?      

NO.....

I guess I am old fashioned in this way.  Maybe I expect too much.  I know from my own medical training history that it is important to assess the 'entire' patient...the whole being..it seemed important to me...I feel my loss ever so more acutely as illness permeates my physical body.

I fear that this new health care we are moving into will only open the door for more of this.

2 comments:

Beth in IL said...

I hope you are over the flu. We had the upper respiratory one here and I still have two coughing. Lots of tea with honey is what we are taking here.
No, it is strange she did not ask. My OBGYN is a nurse practioner(sp?) and she always asks...Your heart ache is adding stress to your body-you know that-and it brings tears to my eyes when I think of you hurting. Take care my friend. You are in our prayers...

Tonya said...

Thanks Beth!

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Why MAGNANIMOUS?

Noah Webster's 1828 Dictionary of the American Language defines Magnanimity as such:
MAGNANIM'ITY, n. [L. magnanimitas; magnus, great, and animus, mind.] Greatness of mind; that elevation or dignity of soul, which encounters danger and trouble with tranquillity and firmness, which raises the possessor above revenge, and makes him delight in acts of benevolence, which makes him disdain injustice and meanness, and prompts him to sacrifice personal ease, interest and safety for the accomplishment of useful and noble objects.